I decided, since I spend a large portion of my day writing for peanuts,
or more accurately cups of hot water,
I would take a leap of faith into the ego daunting world of the literati and perhaps exchange a few well placed words for money. I dreaded having my creativity banished by deadlines and crushed by criticism but I thought,
“A poem? What’s the harm in a poem, just one rhyming piece?”
Well, read on!
I love the syntax of poetry;
the freedom, the rhythm and language as I plunge the depths, explore the diversity, experiment with the form.
I treasure the measured use of words and rise to the challenge of the distilled essence of The Poem.
As homeschoolers we were sophisticated in our poetry choices, Dickinson, Shelly, Wordsworth, Shakespeare and even some Milton filled our mouths with laughter and tears.
I think I rather lost sight of age appropriateness in favour of beauty, turn of phrase, iambic pentameter and dance to-it-iveness!
I was asked to write a poem for April Fool’s Day.
I researched the topic to add some history and authenticity and in a few hours wrote something I thought my children would have enjoyed, forgetting there is a chasm between not so much homeschool vs public school children but their teachers/administrators.
In my experience Tolkien, Silverstein, Keats, Potter and Rossetti appeal on many levels. The poem I was writing was to be a read aloud so how it sounded was tantamount to content. Firing up the imagination and eliciting illustration were what I was after, I mean, make it a whole experience why not?
Herewith, Effort 1: (Without pictures)
Who can say what happens on April Fool’s day?
Or where in the world did it start?
I can’t stop the giggles, my side hurts so much,
A loud chortle, good for the heart.
(Excuse me, I think I might fart was the original line but good breeding had me self-edit)
Daffodils and rainbows in April begin,
The sun hides and seeks with the rain.
And children enjoy a good joke on the first,
Tomfool’ry’s the name of the game.
I’m told it dates back to those old Roman times,
Masquerading and lots of good cheer.
A popular feast, Hilaria by name,
Going strong still, year after year.
This mischievous day’s kept all over the world,
You could say it’s global for folk.
Be careful, wise up, for when spring rolls around
The whole world is in on the joke.
For Hindus it’s Holi and happens in March,
Gulal powder, colors galore.
Festivities and dancing, chuckles and hugs,
Bright silks, smelly perfumes and more.
Purim beckons Jews to the carnival dance
In costume to play silly jokes.
Harmless pranks that make all the family laugh
At the fool who’s part of the hoax.
In 1957 all Europe was tricked
By spaghetti growing on trees!
The Swiss had a bumper crop, so it appears,
Share pasta plants please, pretty please!
At home you may find yourself plugging your ears
When your bed’s looking fit to burst.
You watch as it bulges and pops into life,
Then realize it’s April the First!
Though your pranks, tricks and jokes are all made in jest,
Have them finished up by midday.
One eye on the clock, one last practical joke,
Always fun on April Fool’s day.
My commissioner thought the composition delightful, however, the vocabulary, length, and concepts were much too sophisticated for the average 5-year-old!
She’d obviously never read Beatrix Potter’s, Tales of Peter Rabbit.
I was asked to remit a very simple poem that explained the day to children who were just learning what April Fool’s-type tricks are. I enlisted help from Hubs who has written several children’s poems and submitted two more drafts, which would have the children cracking up…
Effort 2:
Nowadays there are a few rules,
Don’t make jokes while sitting in school,
Play some tricks on your Mum,
Make Dad grin, have some fun,
Be a well behaved April Fool.
In the morning say to your mummy,
“There’s flies in your big jar of honey.
In the pool there’s a ‘gator
We’ll talk at him later,
Today’s all about funny.
“There’s spaghetti hanging in trees,
Can I get some please, pretty please?
Look out there’s a bee
Doing laps in your tea!
Um, hold on, I think it may sneeze!”
I’ll ask Dad when he gets home tonight
“Would you please come upstairs for a fight?
There’s a T-Rex in red
Jumping hard on your bed,
Come see; he’s good. Bring a light?”
Still too complex. Effort 3:
Bubbles in our pool,
‘Gators staying cool!
Sing along with bees,
Catch the fly and sneeze,
Eat pasta from trees,
Shout please, pretty please,
Break all of the rules,
April Fool’s!”
More Tricks please. Effort 4
I tried to trick Dad,
A fake phone call would do.
Police at the door!
He fell for that too.
Mum really screamed,
“Eek a mouse on the floor!”
The toy rodent kicked
Way out the back door.
Ginny my sis,
Was really surprised,
Her hot bath was cold,
Oh the look in her eyes.
And then when I said
“The car has a flat,”
Dad got so upset
He tripped over the cat.
The cup cake Gin ate
Went out with a toss,
Made her lips burn
With the red-hot sauce.
My last trick was best
I really must say,
Dad’s briefcase for work,
I filled it with hay.
Make tricks fun not mean,
Or you know what they’ll do
You’ll be put in time-out
And the joke is on you!
April Fool’s!
Safety became an issue with that one so I tried again, this time remembering that children at home may try some of these tricks.
Oh me! Shades of Harry Potter and witchcraft all over again.
Effort 4:
Today’s April Fool’s!
Play tricks and have fun!
Here’s how it’s done…
Break the rules!
There are flies in the honey,
I’d better tell Mommy.
In the pool there’s a ‘gator,
We’ll talk to him later.
A T.rex in red
Jumping hard on Dad’s bed,
When he gets home tonight
He’s in for a fight.
Spaghetti on trees,
Go get me some, please?
Look, there’s a bee
Doing laps in your tea!
Better jump in the pool,
And try to stay cool!
Get T.rex from bed,
I don’t want him dead.
Save the ‘gator
For later,
Swim like the bees,
Eat pasta from trees,
Say please, pretty please!
Stir flies in the honey
This day is so funny.
Break all the rules.
April Fool’s!
Now ethics about rule breaking came into play and again, the length!
I completely rinsed, flossed and sterilized my final attempt,
Last Ditch Effort 5:
I tricked Dad with a joke phone call,
Made Mom scream at my toy mouse.
Stirred fake flies in the honey,
Let T.rex into the house.
They all found it funny,
This day is so cool,
April Fool!
I think I won the award for Most Agreeable Poet while being robbed of my mischievous playfulness in one of my earlier drafts, which my children undoubtedly would have enjoyed!
April Fool’s was decided against as a holiday worthy of writing about and I was offered a couple more whimsical holidays like International Dance Day or National Coin Week.
What happened to Christmas and Memorial Day?
I rent my garments and washed my hands and went to California for a break.
This write for pay lark is not very rewarding!